


over and over again (into oblivion)

by joshllyman



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24227047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshllyman/pseuds/joshllyman
Summary: Keiji is greeted with silence when he arrives home from work, which is usually a bad sign. He supposes one of two things is happening:Option a is that Koutarou is attempting some sort of prank. Option b is that Koutarou is upset.Keiji sincerely hopes it’s option a.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 29
Kudos: 227





	over and over again (into oblivion)

**Author's Note:**

> quarantine got me SAD so pls accept some soft bokuakas

Keiji is greeted with silence when he arrives home from work, which is usually a bad sign. He supposes one of two things is happening:

Option a is that Koutarou is attempting some sort of prank. He has done this on three separate occasions since they’ve lived together. The first was a game of hide and seek that resulted in him being stuck inside a cabinet (Keiji had taken a hammer to it to get him out). The second resulted in a Nerf gun war, which had actually been quite fun. The third time he’d been trying to scare Keiji by hiding in the coat closet, but when he’d jumped out, his foot had gotten tangled with a boot, and he’d taken down half the coats and hangers in a beautiful and devastating crash.

Option b is that Koutarou is upset.

Keiji sincerely hopes it’s option a.

“Kou?” he calls into the house. He carefully removes his shoes and coat and heads into the kitchen. “Koutarou, I’m home!” 

Still he’s met with silence. He doubts Koutarou would attempt hiding in the cabinets again after it had cost them their security deposit for that particular apartment, but he does check the pantry to no avail. 

Keiji frowns. He checks their bedroom and bathroom, even thinking to bend over and check under the bed in case Koutarou’s chosen that as a hiding place. Koutarou still doesn’t turn up, and concern begins to churn in Keiji’s stomach. He returns to the entrance and lifts his voice.

“Koutarou? Please come out. I’m worried about you.”

His words are greeted with ringing silence. He’s not on this floor, then. Keiji descends the stairs to the basement.

He finds Koutarou in the game room. He’s dragged several of the blankets they keep stored away out of the closet and has created a cocoon around himself where he’s sitting on the floor. Keiji sighs.

Option b it is.

“Kou?” he calls softly, stepping into the room. The mass of blankets shifts slightly, then grows shorter as if Koutarou is hunching in on himself. There’s no response from within. Keiji tries again. “Koutarou?”

“Please leave me alone,” comes Koutarou’s voice, small and broken. He’s been crying, and Keiji’s heart breaks.

He approaches the blankets and squats down beside them. He knocks softly on top of the pile. “This is Bokuto Keiji, requesting access to Fort Bokuto, over.”

Keiji thinks he hears an aborted chuckle from the blankets before they open to reveal Koutarou. His eyes are red and there are tear tracks staining his cheeks. He’s still in his practice uniform.

“Access granted,” Koutarou mumbles. 

Keiji crawls underneath the blankets and sits beside Koutarou, who lets the curtain fall so it’s just the two of them in the dark. Keiji puts his hand on Koutarou’s shoulder, trying not to initiate too much contact if it’s unwanted.

“Do you want to tell me what’s got you so upset?” he asks.

Koutarou shakes his head and brings his knees to his chest.

“May I hold you?” Keiji asks. 

Koutarou rests his forehead against his knees. “If you want,” he says.

“Of course I want,” Keiji answers, firm but quiet. He gently weaves one hand between Koutarou’s thighs and stomach and grasps his hip. Koutarou takes a deep, shaky breath and releases a fraction of the tension in his body.

They don’t say anything more, and silence befalls them. Keiji knows Koutarou will talk when he’s ready, and he has no intention of forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to. He lifts the blankets on his side and sets them on his shoulder so they can both get some fresh air. Keiji rubs circles into Koutarou’s back with his free hand. With every passing moment Keiji can see that Koutarou is relaxing, little by little. After a while Koutarou tilts his head toward Keiji, who leans forward and brushes his lips against Koutarou’s cheek.

“Hello, my love,” Keiji murmurs.

Koutarou’s cheeks fill with color. “Hello, Keiji.”

“I’m not going to make you tell me what happened that upset you so much,” Keiji begins. He runs his fingers through Koutarou’s hair, made even more wild by the blankets that have been resting atop his head. “But I would like to listen. Even if there’s nothing I can do.”

Koutarou nods. He holds out a palm, and Keiji takes his hand. They’re both a little sweaty. Keiji doesn’t mind, not even a bit. Koutarou looks up at him with watery eyes and a bitten lip.

“Just...a bad practice,” he says finally. 

Keiji hums. He runs his thumb along the soft back of Koutarou’s hand, so different from his calloused palms. “What went wrong?”

“Everything,” Koutarou answers. He sags, as if the energy is expelled from him suddenly with that one word. “I didn’t warm up well enough and my leg was cramping all practice, so I was slow, I kept missing receives, I wasn’t jumping to my full height, and ‘Tsumu looked like he was this close to losing it every time I fucked up.” There are tears running down his face again. “I know he hates having to deal with me when I’m like this. I did my best to stay positive, Keiji, I swear I did, but my leg still hurts and I’m afraid I’m gonna get pulled from the starting lineup if I have another practice like today.”

“Kou,” Keiji breathes, and Koutarou lets out a quiet sob and presses his whole weight into Keiji. “Kou, honey, one practice isn’t going to make or break your volleyball career.”

“Why do they even put up with me?” Koutarou moans.

“They’re not putting up with you, Koutarou,” Keiji admonishes. He runs his hand through Koutarou’s hair again, kisses his forehead. “You’re an incredible player, one of the best in the world, and any team would be lucky to have you.”

Koutarou sniffs. Keiji waits while his words sink in, holding his husband tight. He presses another kiss against his forehead, and then one against his cheek, and then one against the back of his hand.

“You’re biased,” Koutarou says. “You just want me for my bod.”

Keiji cups Koutarou’s cheek with his hand. “Is that what this is about? Do you think you’re unwanted?”

Koutarou blinks and doesn’t say anything, confirming that Keiji is right. 

Keiji scoffs softly. “I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. I fell in love with you from the first moment I saw you, Bokuto Koutarou. I’ve loved you since I was fourteen. It’s been half my life, now, and I haven’t stopped. Not a single day, not a single moment. I love you exactly the way you are. I’m proud of your growth, Koutarou, and one bad day doesn’t make you unlovable or unwanted. Your team wants you. I want you. Today and every day.”

Koutarou is crying silently now. Keiji’s palm is wet with tears where it’s placed against Koutarou’s cheek, but he holds it there.

“You hear me?” Keiji asks.

“I hear you,” Koutarou affirms. He leans into Keiji’s hand. “Sorry I need you to remind me so much.”

“I will happily remind you as much as you need, and then a few more times after that,” Keiji says. “So no more apologies, alright?”

Koutarou looks up at Keiji, and for the first time since he got home, there’s a hint of a smile on his face. 

“I love you,” Keiji says.

Koutarou moves forward enough to bump their noses together. “Love you too, Keiji.”

Koutarou twists so he’s more comfortable in Keiji’s hold, and they kiss, mouths moving lazily together while Keiji wipes away the last of Koutarou’s tears. He can tell Koutarou is beginning to feel better when he turns playful, nipping at Keiji’s bottom lip and making loud smacking noises every time they move apart. Keiji finds himself laughing, and Koutarou joins in, and it makes him feel light as air.

“We should build a real blanket fort,” Koutarou muses, throwing the blankets off of them and looking around the basement with a grin. He turns his eyes back to Keiji. “What do you think?”

Keiji nods, and the look on Koutarou’s face, bright and shining, is so beautiful that, in this moment, he can’t imagine denying Koutarou anything he could ask for. “I’d love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> title from the national's "oblivions"  
> these two are actual married soulmates i do not accept constructive criticism  
> link to socials in profile


End file.
